Unveiled Thought

Questions About Wearing a Hijab That You’re Too Embarrassed to Ask.

I love when people ask me questions about Islam. LOVE. IT. It means you’re showing an interest in who I am and what I believe instead of making assumptions. It gets me thinking about why I believe or do the things I do. I love it – keep them coming.

Over the years I’ve been asked some pretty adorable questions about wearing the hijab. I’m going to answer them for you in case you’re too embarrassed to ask. (If you want to know about why I wear it, you can read more here. )

The Luxy Sisters (http://www.luxyhair.com/pages/our-story) - I learned everything I know about hair from them. Even Muslimahs want to look fabulous.

The Luxy Sisters (http://www.luxyhair.com/pages/our-story) – I learned everything I know about hair from them. Even Muslimahs want to look fabulous.

Are you bald?

This is my absolute favourite. It has been asked so many times and it makes me laugh every time. No, m’dear. I’m not, there’s hair under there but it’s just all covered up. Muslim women will have all the same variation in hairstyles as your regular woman will. We do the long hair trends and short hair trends the ombre hair trends and the blonde streak trends.

So what do you do to your hair then?

Well! Okay this is my other favourite question. We’ll all do different things, depending on what’s comfortable. I like to tie my hair into a loose-ish bun. It keeps it all neat and out of the way and I don’t have to worry about a pony tail sticking out of the end of my hijab. I told one of the people who asked me if I was bald that the lump at the back of my head was just loose skin, and that’s why I wore a hijab. Oh dear. I’m sorry, girl. I was joking 😦

How come your hijab doesn’t fall off?

I wear a cotton cap underneath all my hijabs that keeps my hair in place. Not all women do this. I know my mum doesn’t – in fact, it makes her feel suffocated. I love them because it means I can play with the colours and match them up with the hijab and outfit. The cap keeps it all together for me.

I sort of explained how I wear my hijab here (I also told you about other weird things I do with my hijab, so have fun).

Cotton cap - as you can imagine, it's hard to get this picture off a real Muslim girl.

Cotton cap – as you can imagine, it’s hard to get this picture off a real Muslim girl.

Have you ever pinned yourself with all dem pins? 

Never ever! I’m not even that careful – it’s just really difficult to pin yourself when you can feel and sense what you’re doing. Because I wear a cotton cap, most of my pins sit in the cap. The main one that falls under my chin to hold it all together is just a safety pin. Mum always says I’m going to choke on a pin – I tend to hold them in my mouth while I’m pulling it all together, but I’m learning to be better with that.

Do you have sex with a hijab on?

I should stop saying any of these questions is my favourite, because they’re all great. No, no we don’t. Well maybe, I don’t know – it may be a kink for some people. Women wear hijab when they are in the presence of males who they’re not related to, namely, anyone who isn’t their brother or father or uncle or son or nephew or husband. We call these mahrams ( محرم), which basically translates to non-permissibles which refers to marriage – you can’t ever marry those people so you don’t have to cover up around them. Cousins don’t count – you cover up around them because you could actually marry them.

Thusly, you can infer that you don’t cover up around your husband so you don’t have sex in a hijab (remember, no sexual relationships before marriage or you will die).

Can I see your hair?

Are you a woman? Are you my mahram? Sure. Otherwise, I’m sorry. You’re going to have to marry me.

Do your hijabs have to match your outfits?

No, I’m just incredibly stylish.

How do you colour-match all your hijabs with your outfits so well?

See above. Also, I’m smart. My mum and I go to this suburb in Sydney called Cabramatta. It is filled with drugs and fabric stores. AMAZING fabric stores where I can buy a meter of gorgeous fabric for about $4. When I go, I buy 30 or 40 scarves. I get insanely good discounts. I can pick all the amazing colours in all the fabulous shades I want. Patterns that I could’ve never imagined and textures one could only dream of. Each hijab costs me about $6 or $7. There are hijab shops all over the place too where they sell weird and wonderful hijabs with lots of glitter and things. It’s amazing.

Where do you get all your hijab-friendly clothes?

Well, we get resourceful. Know a place that sells plus size, maxi dresses? Me too, and I’m probably their walking wardrobe. City Chic used to be great. Asos makes me happy. There are plenty of hijab fashion stores too. A really popular one is Inayah, which is pretty popular or global hijab fashion which is just so full of beautiful styles. Hijab couture is a thing.

So… like. When there’s a special event, what do you do with your hijab?

Hijab styles are as varied as hair styles.

Hijab styles are as varied as hair styles.

You can get hijab-styles. I’m not even kidding. You go to a special salon where the lady does cool things on your head. These ladies are all over Facebook, like this one. It’s pretty bloody amazing.

What if you just want to do your own fancysmanchy hijab?

Don’t worry, there are plenty of tutorials on YouTube. I mean, look at this one – it’s called ‘Hijab Tutorial Pretty Bow Turban – From My Ariana Grande Makeup Tutorial‘. There are hundreds of thousands of them. Be warned, lots of ‘brothers’ go onto these pages to tell the women what sluts they are and that they are helping create an Islamic community of miscreants. Just don’t read the comments. Smart videos like this prevent people from commenting. YAY.

Do you wash your hijabs?

Yes.

How do you wash your hijabs?

My washing machine really liked to eat my pretty hijabs. To prevent that, I now wash my hijabs in those little lingerie bags. Keeps ’em nice and happy and in one piece.

Are you allowed to wash and cut your hair?

Hell yeah, girlfriend.

Can I compliment your hijab?

Of course you can. Beats you trying to rip it off or spitting in my face because you think I’ll spontaneously explode!

Can I touch your hijab?

Are you a woman? Are you my mahram? Sure. Otherwise, I’m sorry. You’re going to have to marry me.

Is it offensive to try on a hijab?

Not at all! In fact, it’s quite fun for everyone! I was wanting to have a ‘try a hijab day’ anyway. Let me know if you’re interested.

I have another weird question. Can I ask it?

Yes, of course!

Even if it’s inappropriate?

Especially if it’s inappropriate! 😉

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245 comments on “Questions About Wearing a Hijab That You’re Too Embarrassed to Ask.

  1. Kelli
    November 8, 2016

    So, Im normally a very modest person. Even in the summer, i am uncomfortable wearing short sleeved shirts. Ive always worn boy clothes, so it wouldnt shape to my body, etc. I love covering up n it makes me feel comfortable. As the past year has gone by, i feel more and more embarrassed about not covering my hair(i was raised atheist by my dad, and traditional christian by my mom, but i am agnostic. im so curious about other religions, particularly polytheistic ones). Well, my question is, do you think anyone would be offended if i started wearing one? And how could i explain why i wear it? I go to a christian church every sunday. But ive always really admired the hijab. I guess, whats your advice for me? I know a lot of ppl, i think would really struggle with it, that i see very often too. :/ i live in a really really small city.

    Like

    • unveiledthought
      February 12, 2017

      Hi Kelli

      As you may know, a lot of Christian women also wore hijabs so head-coverings have been worn throughout the ages for many different reasons. I would encourage you to do whatever makes you the most comfortable, for sure, but your explanation will depend on what you’re comfortable with sharing. You may wish to just tell people you’re experimenting with head-coverings because they’re stylish, or you may want to say you’re connecting to a more traditional Christian practice of headcovering. Just make sure that you’re doing something that you’re comfortable with and that you have the right support around you. Good luck!

      Like

  2. Hannah Mosqueda
    November 12, 2016

    Hi,
    I have an islamic friend who always has really pretty headscarves.
    Well, Christmas is coming up, and I want to make her a hijab. I know she won’t be offended by the gift, but I can’t find any information on what the dimensions are supposed to be.

    How big should a hijab be?

    Like

    • unveiledthought
      February 12, 2017

      Hi Hannah! I am so sorry for the delay in getting back to you!!

      Hijabs are of so many different dimensions. Most of mine are 150cmx150cm which allows me to fold them in lots of different ways. Others are about 1.5m x 50 cm – these are longer, shawl-like hijabs which wrap in a different way. It just depends on her personal style. What a kind present!

      Like

  3. Ceep
    November 12, 2016

    I love you! I’m Christian and I want to wear a hijab in support. I got a scarf but I can’t keep my hair from showing. If it shows is that a big no-no? I could just wait to get an underscarf…

    Like

    • unveiledthought
      February 12, 2017

      I love you too!

      Some Muslim women who wear a hijab have some hair showing – whether accidental or by choice. Go for it – wear it in whatever way is most comfortable to you!

      Like

    • Rachel
      February 12, 2017

      Hi Ceep, I wondered if you were familiar with the Christian tradition of covering the head? I’m a Christian and wear a headcovering, but I’m in the minority although it’s been the norm for women throughout Christian history, and most Orthodox ladies still wear coverings, at least for church. If you want to know more, you can check out http://www.headcoveringmovement.com/, which is non-denominational. There are lots of different styles you can wear, just like there are for hijabs (and there’s some overlap, particularly if you look at the eastern traditions – look up some pictures of the Starobryadtsi or Russian Old Believers and take a look at their coverings!), and it’s really up to personal taste… Christian headcovering is about covering the head, not the hair, which is a bit of a semantic difference and amounts to the same thing, really, but it does mean you don’t have to worry if your hair’s showing (once you get the hang of it, it’s easy enough to cover it all if you’re wearing an under-the-chin covering). There’s nothing wrong with wearing a hijab as a Christian but you will get asked about it so it’s good to have a Christian reason for doing it, too!

      Like

    • Rachel
      February 12, 2017

      Also, if you can’t find an underscarf, try a normal headband – or a wider one like a pre-made bandanna type. Or cut the back off a t-shirt and sew it into a tube the diameter of your head. If you’re having trouble with forehead-hair, that will fix it. If your problem is the hair at the temples/ by your ears… well, if you pull the headcovering around and tie it under the chin, that should cover it. If you’re not using a headband or something to anchor it, make sure you have really, really non-slippery material. (LOL, at Open Mosque Day the girls put the slipperiest hijab on me I’ve ever encountered… I think if I didn’t already have a headcovering on to pin it to, it would have fallen off the moment I moved)

      Like

  4. Rachel
    December 6, 2016

    I have a similar question to the previous one.

    I’ve recently met a refugee family from Iraq. I don’t know them well, but the mother and daughter were dressed very conservatively, in hijabs and loose robes. Winter is coming, and I’d like to knit them some woolen winter hats. Would the hijabi women find this useful? Would I be better off knitting them shawls or scarves they can wear under their robes instead?

    Like

    • unveiledthought
      February 12, 2017

      Hi Rachael

      What a kid and generous thing for you to do. I wear beanies over my hijabs in the cold, because in Canberra it can get quite freezing. I put it over my hijab because it means I can easily take it off when I go inside. I hope that helps!

      Like

  5. Jamie Saltkill
    December 8, 2016

    I am going to visit a friend who has recently converted to Islam and married a Muslim man. She is now hijabi and I am very supportive. Should I wear hijab myself when I visit her at home and meet her husband?

    Like

    • unveiledthought
      February 12, 2017

      Hi Jamie

      I apologise for the delay in responding. Generally, I would say that you don’t have to wear a hijab in that sort of circumstance – but how did you go? Were you expected to cover up?

      Like

  6. Byrdie Prey
    December 11, 2016

    I just wanted to thank you for writing such a loving, funny piece. It is so important for people to feel comfortable asking questions about things that they may not understand. Fear of the unknown can lead to assumptions or worse, hatred. Thank you for making people feel comfortable to ask. You have a BEAUTIFUL spirit!

    Like

    • unveiledthought
      February 12, 2017

      D’aw Byrdie! You are such a sweetheart. Thank you for your kind words! I do hope that I make people feel comfortable enough to ask all the questions that they need!

      Like

  7. Selena
    January 7, 2017

    Hello! I was wondering if women who wear hijabs could instead just wear wigs to cover their real hair. Or would that defeat the purpose?

    Like

    • unveiledthought
      February 12, 2017

      Hi Selena

      I could have sworn that I responded to this already but I can’t find my response – so here we go again! You are right in suggesting that wearing wigs would sort of defeat the purpose. However; it’s not a practice that is unheard of. Some Jewish women, for example, wear wigs instead of covering their hair. I guess it just depends on the person’s reason for covering up – is it to cover their own beauty so that only people they know would know their ‘real’ identity, or is it to generally cover up?

      Like

  8. Macy
    January 9, 2017

    Hello!
    I just stumbled across this article now- hope I’m not too late 🙂
    I am currently working within a theatre group, and my character does wear a hijab. I’m wondering whether it would be appropriate for me, since I am a white, non-muslim teenage girl. Although I know that there is no mention of it in the play in order to offend, I’m still a little bit on the fence about it. What do you think?

    Like

    • unveiledthought
      February 12, 2017

      Hi Macy

      I apologise for the delay in responding to you. Hopefully I’m not too late, but I figured I’d answer in case someone else was in the same position as you are.

      The interesting thing with wearing the hijab in the Islamic context is that it’s not a practice that is restricted or limited to just one cultural group. It’s supposed to be a practice that can be enjoyed by anyone, no matter their nationality. So there is absolutely no problem with you wearing one 🙂

      Like

  9. Aisling
    January 20, 2017

    Hey just found your site. It’s really great so thanks for that! Anyway I just started college in a big city (I’m a small town girl) and have seen several women walking around in hijabs. I had a class with two women who wore very beautiful ones and they were talking about styles and such. I am too shy to speak to them without before hand knowledge but here are some of my questions: Are dupatta and hijab the same thing? Does wearing a hijab make one feel more confident (cause it certainly seems so to me)? And if I chose to wear one should I wear a long flowy dress (like the ones the women in my class wear and the ones that are in virtually every picture I’ve seen with a woman wearing a hijab) with it?

    Like

    • unveiledthought
      February 12, 2017

      Hello there!

      Dupattas are cultural south-Asian pieces of fabric that are traditionally worn over the shoulder. A hijab is a cloth that covers the head and hair.

      Wearing the hijab, for most women who wear it, does create a sense of confidence and comfort. When people talk about banning the the hijab I get really uncomfortable because I can’t imagine not wearing mine.

      For the most part, women who wear the hijab wear flowy clothes. Maxi dresses are the easiest (that’s what I wear too!) because you can always count on them being beautiful, flowy, and modest.

      I’m sure if you chat to the girls in your class they’d be more than happy to answer your questions! Who knows, you might end up with a bunch of new buddies.

      Like

  10. greyeyedgrrl
    January 28, 2017

    What a great blog! I’ve been very interested in learning more about the hijab especially since Nadiya rocked the Great British Bake Off. During the show, she wore coverings that covered from her chin to her front. Since the show I’ve seen her on talk shows where she wears coverings that look like a scarf bun (if that makes sense?). What is the difference? Is it just a matter of style/preference? Thank you in advance.

    Like

    • unveiledthought
      February 12, 2017

      Hello there!

      Sorry for the delay in responding. Since I’m in Australia, I didn’t really see Nadiya on the GBBO but I’ve watched her subsequent interviews and what an articulate, eloquent, gorgeous woman she is!

      I know the exact style that you’re talking about because it was one of my favourites in my mid-teens. I suppose the way that a woman wears her hijab depends on two things – her stylistic preferences and her interpretation of the religious element. So, for some women, over-stylising the hijab goes against their religious interpretation of the purpose of the hijab. For other women, they interpret the obligation as being one to cover, so how they do it is up to them.

      Hopefully that answers your question!

      Liked by 1 person

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This entry was posted on May 26, 2014 by in Islam, Just For Fun, Women's Issues and tagged , , .
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