I know I have been incredibly silent in the wake of a number of terrorist attacks around the world in recent weeks. As I watch the terror unfolding in London, I thought it was important to tell you that I am not staying quiet because I don’t care. It’s because my thoughts and my heart have been suffocated with what is happening. I just don’t know what to say anymore.

I am absolutely appalled with the actions of these people. I just can’t understand why the people that perpetuate these acts of violence think that it’s going to achieve anything that would make their lives any better. What on Earth is running through the mind of someone who blows themselves up at a kid’s concert or rams a van into innocent bystanders and then stabs the people around them? What do you think it’s going to achieve? I just can’t grasp it. I understand that people attribute reasons to these acts – either that they’re seeking revenge on behalf of ISIS or furthering their cause with the idea that they will go to heaven for their actions – BUT THESE AREN’T SENSIBLE REASONS. I just. Don’t. Get. It.

How did we get here? How did it get so bad?

I am absolutely appalled with the reactions of commentators who blame Muslims for these acts, while the reports of Muslims who report these perpetrators go ignored by intelligence agencies; while Muslims condemn these actions. What more do you want us to do? I’m appalled by reporters who will call Ariana Grande a coward for leaving the UK without calling their democratically-elected representatives cowards for not owning up to the role they play in these situations. This sort of commentary does nothing but drive a wedge through society and attributes blame to anyone but the culprits.

I don’t know what to say anymore – I don’t know whether to give you hope and tell you that humanity is better than this and that with the right programs, we’ll be okay.

I don’t know if I actually believe that this morning.

I also don’t know whether to tell you that it’s all doom and gloom and that there is no way that things will get better; that the centuries of de-stabilisation of the Middle East caused directly by Western intervention has caused far too much damage, and that our persistent presence there is just making things worse. That the trillions of dollars that have gone into creating this mess will never be made up for with trillions of dollars for resolving these issues.

I don’t know anymore.

What I want you to know is that just like you, I am watching, and waiting, and lost. Please stay safe and may God have mercy on us all.