Unveiled Thought

Questions About Wearing a Hijab That You’re Too Embarrassed to Ask.

I love when people ask me questions about Islam. LOVE. IT. It means you’re showing an interest in who I am and what I believe instead of making assumptions. It gets me thinking about why I believe or do the things I do. I love it – keep them coming.

Over the years I’ve been asked some pretty adorable questions about wearing the hijab. I’m going to answer them for you in case you’re too embarrassed to ask. (If you want to know about why I wear it, you can read more here. )

The Luxy Sisters (http://www.luxyhair.com/pages/our-story) - I learned everything I know about hair from them. Even Muslimahs want to look fabulous.

The Luxy Sisters (http://www.luxyhair.com/pages/our-story) – I learned everything I know about hair from them. Even Muslimahs want to look fabulous.

Are you bald?

This is my absolute favourite. It has been asked so many times and it makes me laugh every time. No, m’dear. I’m not, there’s hair under there but it’s just all covered up. Muslim women will have all the same variation in hairstyles as your regular woman will. We do the long hair trends and short hair trends the ombre hair trends and the blonde streak trends.

So what do you do to your hair then?

Well! Okay this is my other favourite question. We’ll all do different things, depending on what’s comfortable. I like to tie my hair into a loose-ish bun. It keeps it all neat and out of the way and I don’t have to worry about a pony tail sticking out of the end of my hijab. I told one of the people who asked me if I was bald that the lump at the back of my head was just loose skin, and that’s why I wore a hijab. Oh dear. I’m sorry, girl. I was joking :(

How come your hijab doesn’t fall off?

I wear a cotton cap underneath all my hijabs that keeps my hair in place. Not all women do this. I know my mum doesn’t – in fact, it makes her feel suffocated. I love them because it means I can play with the colours and match them up with the hijab and outfit. The cap keeps it all together for me.

I sort of explained how I wear my hijab here (I also told you about other weird things I do with my hijab, so have fun).

 

Cotton cap - as you can imagine, it's hard to get this picture off a real Muslim girl.

Cotton cap – as you can imagine, it’s hard to get this picture off a real Muslim girl.

Have you ever pinned yourself with all dem pins? 

Never ever! I’m not even that careful – it’s just really difficult to pin yourself when you can feel and sense what you’re doing. Because I wear a cotton cap, most of my pins sit in the cap. The main one that falls under my chin to hold it all together is just a safety pin. Mum always says I’m going to choke on a pin – I tend to hold them in my mouth while I’m pulling it all together, but I’m learning to be better with that.

Do you have sex with a hijab on?

I should stop saying any of these questions is my favourite, because they’re all great. No, no we don’t. Well maybe, I don’t know – it may be a kink for some people. Women wear hijab when they are in the presence of males who they’re not related to, namely, anyone who isn’t their brother or father or uncle or son or nephew or husband. We call these mahrams ( محرم), which basically translates to non-permissibles which refers to marriage – you can’t ever marry those people so you don’t have to cover up around them. Cousins don’t count – you cover up around them because you could actually marry them.

Thusly, you can infer that you don’t cover up around your husband so you don’t have sex in a hijab (remember, no sexual relationships before marriage or you will die).

Can I see your hair?

Are you a woman? Are you my mahram? Sure. Otherwise, I’m sorry. You’re going to have to marry me.

Do your hijabs have to match your outfits?

No, I’m just incredibly stylish.

How do you colour-match all your hijabs with your outfits so well?

See above. Also, I’m smart. My mum and I go to this suburb in Sydney called Cabramatta. It is filled with drugs and fabric stores. AMAZING fabric stores where I can buy a meter of gorgeous fabric for about $4. When I go, I buy 30 or 40 scarves. I get insanely good discounts. I can pick all the amazing colours in all the fabulous shades I want. Patterns that I could’ve never imagined and textures one could only dream of. Each hijab costs me about $6 or $7. There are hijab shops all over the place too where they sell weird and wonderful hijabs with lots of glitter and things. It’s amazing.

Where do you get all your hijab-friendly clothes?

Well, we get resourceful. Know a place that sells plus size, maxi dresses? Me too, and I’m probably their walking wardrobe. City Chic used to be great. Asos makes me happy. There are plenty of hijab fashion stores too. A really popular one is Inayah, which is pretty popular or global hijab fashion which is just so full of beautiful styles. Hijab couture is a thing.

So… like. When there’s a special event, what do you do with your hijab?

Hijab styles are as varied as hair styles.

Hijab styles are as varied as hair styles.

You can get hijab-styles. I’m not even kidding. You go to a special salon where the lady does cool things on your head. These ladies are all over Facebook, like this one. It’s pretty bloody amazing.

What if you just want to do your own fancysmanchy hijab?

Don’t worry, there are plenty of tutorials on YouTube. I mean, look at this one – it’s called ‘Hijab Tutorial Pretty Bow Turban – From My Ariana Grande Makeup Tutorial‘. There are hundreds of thousands of them. Be warned, lots of ‘brothers’ go onto these pages to tell the women what sluts they are and that they are helping create an Islamic community of miscreants. Just don’t read the comments. Smart videos like this prevent people from commenting. YAY.

Do you wash your hijabs?

Yes.

How do you wash your hijabs?

My washing machine really liked to eat my pretty hijabs. To prevent that, I now wash my hijabs in those little lingerie bags. Keeps ‘em nice and happy and in one piece.

Are you allowed to wash and cut your hair?

Hell yeah, girlfriend.

Can I compliment your hijab?

Of course you can. Beats you trying to rip it off or spitting in my face because you think I’ll spontaneously explode!

Can I touch your hijab?

Are you a woman? Are you my mahram? Sure. Otherwise, I’m sorry. You’re going to have to marry me.

Is it offensive to try on a hijab?

Not at all! In fact, it’s quite fun for everyone! I was wanting to have a ‘try a hijab day’ anyway. Let me know if you’re interested.

I have another weird question. Can I ask it?

Yes, of course!

Even if it’s inappropriate?

Especially if it’s inappropriate! ;)

 

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24 comments on “Questions About Wearing a Hijab That You’re Too Embarrassed to Ask.

  1. Laura
    May 27, 2014

    I’ve always suspected that under a lot of hijabs are some rocking punk hair cuts and colours. This might be influenced by an add I saw ages ago for sexy lingerie that then got covered up by a – I want to say burka, but I’m not sure if that’s the right word.

    Though I would really love a “try a hijab” day, I just always figured it’d be mildly offensive.

    Like

    • unveiledthought
      May 28, 2014

      I’ve known some people with the punkest hairstyles hiding under there. It’s pretty funny!!

      I’ll let you know when we plan something – you can be part of a big group that does it. I don’t know anyone who would be offended. In fact, it would be quite adorable and a lot of fun!

      Like

  2. Jane Davies
    May 28, 2014

    This is very informative and funny. Love it!

    Like

  3. starlightfish
    June 15, 2014

    This is a very valuable sharing! Thanks a lot.

    Like

  4. lemoncay
    June 18, 2014

    I get the same questions every time, I find them very interesting :p

    Liked by 1 person

    • unveiledthought
      August 5, 2014

      I forgot to mention the one where they ask me if I have ears!! I love it :D

      Like

  5. Alex
    July 25, 2014

    Wow, thank you for this. One of my clients insisted I write about the hijab and I have no effin clue about it, I’m intimidated to even start because I might say something ignorant and offensive. @_@ It’s so refreshing to read something like this because it eases my fears somewhat. I do think they’re pretty, but I need to know more if I have to write a style guide for it. Your blog is the most helpful I’ve come across yet!

    Like

  6. reluctantstylista
    July 25, 2014

    Wow, thank you for this. One of my clients insisted I write about the hijab and I have no effin clue about it, I’m intimidated to even start because I might say something ignorant and offensive. @_@ It’s so refreshing to read something like this because it eases my fears somewhat. I do think they’re pretty, but I need to know more if I have to write a style guide for it. Your blog is the most helpful I’ve come across yet!

    Like

    • unveiledthought
      July 25, 2014

      Wow a hijab style guide! Would love to read that! Happy to help – feel free to ask any questions at all :)

      Like

  7. Joanna
    August 4, 2014

    That was an interesting article, thank you! I’ve been asking myself a lot of questions lately, due to the fact I began working in a highly multicultural environment. I even tried it on, although I’m a not Muslim and I know I would never wear it on a daily basis. But, superficially speaking, I’d love to wear it on a bad hair day ;)

    Anyway, I grew up in a small city and before I moved to my current city five years ago (Montreal, Canada), I’ve never seen a veiled woman before. Actually, I’ve never talk to a veiled woman before last month, always to Muslim guys who don’t do Ramadan, prayors and stuff. Or that Syrian Christian guy that bash every girl with a veil. So, my point (finally) is that I couldn’t ask all these questions, not knowing if it was offensive or not. I’m very happy I found your article! So thank you again!!

    Like

    • unveiledthought
      August 4, 2014

      Joanna, that is so fantastic!!! I know how you feel – I moved to a much smaller city where most people had never met a Muslim, let alone one who wore a hijab. Some people had no idea that I was Muslim, despite the hijab, because it just never clicked.

      I am so, so happy to hear that I’ve answered some questions for you. Let me know if you have any others!

      Like

  8. lacroixac
    August 5, 2014

    I would like to know how you perceive other girls, I mean, do you think we are impure because we sometimes like to have men’s attention, because we show hairs and skin? I’ve always wondered what muslim women (veiled or not) thought about christian/atheist women. I want your side of the story and the prejudices you’ve heard.

    Like

    • lacroixac
      August 5, 2014

      Forgot to write: thank you :P

      Like

    • unveiledthought
      August 5, 2014

      Hello! Thank you so much for your question. It’s a really good one. I previously wrote about why I wear a hijab (http://unveiledthought.com/2013/12/31/why-do-you-wear-hijab/) and discussed very briefly that it’s such a personal thing, that it’s not meant to be something that puts a hijabi or non-hijabi woman in competition. It’s not an indication of who has more piety or who is more modest.

      Although I can’t speak for all Muslim women, I know that I, and everyone else I know who wears a hijab, feels the same way – a woman should be free to wear whatever it is she choose to wear, within the confines of acceptability (i.e unless you’re on a nude beach, I really don’t want to see your penis or vulva).

      In the very same way that we passionately defend a woman’s right to cover herself as she choose, we believe that women should be free to show what they want as well.

      Now, I think that girls who like men’s attention for reasons that stem to self-esteem issues shouldn’t be seeking validation from people who aren’t going to encourage and support them. It’s not because they’re undressed, but it’s because I believe that you teach people how they should treat you.

      Women who are Christian, atheist, Jewish, and everything else in between are my sisters. I will defend and love and support these women in the same way I do my Muslim sisters.

      Like

  9. HannahMarie
    August 21, 2014

    Hello i love this post, and some of those questions are quite interesting. I myself am christian who has been considering wearing hijab for a while now. I know the bible also says that women should cover their hair but i was wondering id muslim women would feel offended for a christian to be wearing hijab? I just love what it represents and would love to wear it. But im also afraid of what my family will think. That is a seperate issue though (albeit a big one as at 14 i live at home…) but itd be great if you knew how others would possibly feel about a christian hijabi, id hate to offend anyone.

    Like

    • unveiledthought
      August 21, 2014

      Hi, Hannah! Thank you so much for your comment – that was really kind of you. There’s absolutely no way that we would be offended if you wore a hijab. It’s there for anyone who feels a connection to wear it. We don’t own the hijab at all! :P

      I can completely understand. I think that the older you get, the more you realise that your beliefs and your parents beliefs may not be entirely the same. It’s one of those things that we learn to deal with and it definitely gets better over time. Maybe you could have a chat to your parents about the hijab and why you’re thinking about wearing one. Their response may surprise you! Let me know how it goes and if you have any further questions :) All the best.

      Like

  10. Taylor
    September 5, 2014

    I have been obsessed with hijabs for like forevermore and I didn’t know if it was okay to wear them. I keep telling my sister that I want to wear a hijab so bad!

    Like

  11. ania
    September 19, 2014

    The only purpose of hijab (not mentioning niqaab or burqa) is to dehumanize women and deprive them of their own identity, dignity and voice in the society. They walk as black ghosts without their own face and individuality, as if they didnt exist, mere shadows walking among men. Hijab degrades and humiliates women and is a symbol of them being property of men and of islam. Instead of islam teaching men to grow up and mature and control themselves, it blames women for men’s lusts and weaknesses making women awrah – filthy and punishing women for men’s problems…very sad.

    Like

    • unveiledthought
      September 20, 2014

      I’m not too sure you know what the difference between a Hijab, burqa and niqab is, because you talk about hijabi women walking around as black ghosts without a face. I wear a hijab, and my pretty little face is 100% visible. I own 4 black hijabs in my collection of about 100 scarves – all more brightly coloured than the next.

      I take pride in wearing my hijab – note. My hijab. Not my father’s or my brother’s or my husband’s. It’s mine, my choice.

      We are anything but shadows amongst men. Women have an equal role to play in Islam. Just because Islam is different to what you’ve grown up with, it doesn’t make it wrong. It makes it different.

      Hijab is not degrading. In fact, it’s the opposite. Hijab is a sign of control and power for women. It says, I own my body. I will cover it how I wish. I will show parts of it to who I want and cover it up in the eyes of everyone else. I am not my thighs or my boobs. I am an individual capable of contributing beyond what my hair gives the world.

      Further, you are mistaken when you say it’s a punishment for men’s weakness. Men ALSO have a hijab and are told to lower their gaze. Men are told to be respectful of women. They’re even told not to shake our hands and impinge on our comfort zones.

      Wearing a hijab puts my body in my control. I don’t have to hope that a man isn’t looking up and down in a certain way. That’s not to say that this is what all men do.

      Your problem is that you don’t realise that by telling me that my hijab is a tool of humiliation and control that you are in fact oppressing me more than any Muslim man ever could. Who are you to imply that I am incapable of assessing a hijab for myself and deciding it’s what works best for me?

      The hijab existed before Islam and beyond Islam. Stop trying to force your ideals on to everyone else. No one told you that you have to wear it, so stop telling me to take mine off.

      Like

  12. ania
    September 19, 2014

    no muslim woman would ever wear hijab if it wasnt for islamic manipulation. islam made the lives of women a living hell

    Like

    • unveiledthought
      September 20, 2014

      Actually, it didn’t. The only thing making the lives of Muslim women a living hell are the racists who attack us for simply existing and trying to live our lives.

      Like

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This entry was posted on May 26, 2014 by in Islam, Just For Fun, Women's Issues and tagged , , .
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